Waiting to find out if I'm pregnant is killing me. With Clear Blue Easy you can take the test up to four days before your missed period with only a 51% accuracy rate. That day is today. So do I take the test and risk getting disappointed with a negative, only to find out I am pregnant in a few days time? Or what if I really am NOT pregnant??
This is the moment where I need to force myself to sit and reflect upon all of the things in my life that I am thankful for. I am thankful that I already have one child that is beautiful, healthy and amazing (and of course as I type this she starts crying...). I am so thankful to have a wonderful partner in life that appreciates me for my flaws and all! For my friends and for my health, for my mom and my family, for this roof over our heads, and for food on our table. Life could be a heck of a lot worse.
So if we don't get pregnant now, then we'll wait until we get back to CA to start trying. We can't start trying when he is home from Afghanistan, because I do not want to be 9 months pregnant and trying to get a job as a nurse in Ca. I somehow don't think that would go over very well in the interview. So at the worst, Laney will be 3 by the time we have #2. Which is fine. That's what a lot of families do.
I was just trying to "squeeze one more out on the Army's dime". We lose our Army health insurance around February. Thought it would be smart to have one more baby with really good insurance.
The human body is such an amazing thing. I'll be really amazed if I'm not pregnant, because the timing was so perfect... But that's just the way things go. Life, as it may, is out of our control.
So I wait, for now. To see what life may bring us (or not bring us as the case may be).
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