Friday, October 16, 2009


So, it's Friday night... and we are staying with some friends until we can move into our townhouse next week. And David's got the boys over and they are playing Call of Duty something or other.... and well... I am friendless.

It's hard to a) not have your own space and b) not have any friends.

It's weird that you can be lonely when sitting in a room full of people.

I've already made it my goal this year not to sit around and be a bum. To find a job that makes me feel important. To meet some friends that I like and have things in common with.

I realize I've only been here a week, and that I need to give it time. But it's still hard, nonetheless.

I do LOVE having my husband back stateside and I'm trying not to complain. I need to give him time with his friends, time to be a boy.

I just wish I had a girlfriend here.

*SIGH* I miss you guys in Cali! Don't forget to call me sometimes!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


We bought some new furniture today. Who doesn't love furniture shopping?

Unfortunately we don't actually have an address yet, but hey, what does that matter?

It's nice to be "homemaking" again.

ok, boring post. I know. sorry. just keeping it real.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's all worth it

I've been feeling kind of sad lately as I've been getting ready to move back to New York. It's hard to say goodbye to all of my friends, the job that I love and my family. It's hard to abandon my mom, my best friend.

But this morning as I watched my husband sleeping, I realized that it is all worth it. All of that sadness and the fears and worries that come with starting over and moving all disappeared. I can't describe to you how difficult it is to live without your other half for any amount of time.

I've always been a strong natured and independent woman. I've always known that I can survive through anything. And I did survive while he was gone. I carried on with my life, I did the best with what I had. But now I can finally sleep again. I can rest easy knowing that he is safe and home. I can finally breathe.

I'm still sad that I've had to leave so much behind. But I'm happy at the same time that my love is home.

Although I hate the sacrifice that we have to make for his job- When he comes home it's all worth it.

So, even though it bothers him when people say thank you to him for his service, I don't mind. I'm thankful too. Thankful that he's chosen to do a difficult job for his country. Proud (in an non-overly patriotic kind of way) of him and his service. And thankful that he has come home again.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

to keep in touch

So I've decided to start a blog to keep in touch with everyone. This will be the documentary of my journey through moving back to NY (again) and going through nursing school, and hopefully pregnancy... and eventually another deployment (possibly).

Friday was my last day of work at Sutter. And tomorrow starts my 4 days of packing and getting ready to move to NY. I'm filled with mixed emotions. I'm thrilled to get to be back with my husband again and can't wait to start that part of my life again. BUT... I'm sad to leave behind all of my friends and the job that I love.

Unless you are a military wife, it's hard to explain what it is really like. Nothing is ever for certain, and you are constantly holding your breath. I guess I've made peace with fate and life and what is meant to be. I am content knowing that I've found my true love, and that now I can peacefully die at least knowing that much. I know, morbid. but unless you're there, it's hard to understand.

For those of you that have known me for years, you can understand that I've finally found "it". All those restless nights... long in the past.

Well, I'm nervous about New York. Mostly nervous about not finding something that will occupy my time and give me a purpose in life. I spent most of last year (2008) unemployed and gained too much weight and felt, well useless... This next year (or two and a half) I vow to "contribute to society" in some way. I WILL NOT BE A BUM.

Perhaps I'll achieve what I've been longing too since I was 15, and I will finally become a mom. (no pressure honey!)... I should take solace in the fact that my husband (who knows he will more than likely deploy again next fall) does not want to be an absent father, and wants to wait until we are out of the military to start having children.... however.. that maternal clock within me... is TICK TICK TICKING>>> and it's hard to compromise and WAIT. Let me just say that we plan to let fate play it's hand... and come what may... hee, hee, hee... (ok. so the power of my v-jay jay may work it's magic toooo.... lol).

I promise to make friends. I promise to keep in touch with the friends I've left behind.

So here is my blog. Follow if you will!

I'll try to measure snow fall and such to keep it interesting! lol.