FAT

I am so ridiculously fat, it's not even funny. I know I had a baby, and that my body has changed, but this is just ridiculous. I'm 6 months postpartum! I started working out a few weeks ago and lost about 8 more lbs, which made me feel really good about myself. I knew I needed to work harder on the "muffin top", but that if I kept at it, it would shrink. I guess, I was feeling a little too confident because I stopped working out all together. Stupid me. We had a week off from school. I had surgery on my wrist, and that just put me out of commission for awhile. I mean, I could still get my ass up onto the treadmill, that doesn't hurt my wrist! I don't know.

David is coming home in a month, and I feel disgusting. I know he'll love me no matter what, but I can't help but have extremely low body image right now. Last night I got in the bathtub, and had it pretty full (laying flat my breasts were submerged). Unfortunately my stomach was sticking out of the water! What the hell is that?! I look 5 months pregnant! HATE this.

It's so hard to find the motivation to get up off my ass and exercise. I'm not a morning person, so that's out of the question. And by the time the end of the day rolls around, all I want to do is veg out on the couch.

I need my trainer here to yell at me! SIGH. I need a plan. I need somewhere outside of the home to work out. I need to get my ass moving and lay off the Chinese food.